Day 41: Jealousy.

What do you do when Satan throws a curveball?  How do you react? The way you react is what differentiates you as a Christian from a non-Christian. The way you react is how others differentiate from an ordinary “good”person to a Christian…

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Day 40: Breathe.

 

Lee Hi – Breathe

Lyrics:

Breathe in deeply
Until both sides of your chest
Get numb
Exhale more
Until they start to hurt a little
Until you feel like
There’s nothing left inside of you

It’s okay if your breath gets short
No one is blaming you
You can make mistakes from time to time
Everyone else does too
If I tell you “it’s alright”
I know that they’re only words
When someone sighs
How can I understand
Such deep breaths
Your sigh
Even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, that’s okay
I will embrace you

It’s okay if your breath gets short
No one is blaming you
You can make mistakes from time to time
Everyone else does too
If I tell you “it’s alright”
I know that they’re only words
When someone sighs
How can I understand
Such deep breath
Your sigh
Even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, that’s okay
I will embrace you

Even though your sigh may seem cheerless to others
I know that
Your day was so difficult that it was hard for you to let out even a small sigh
Don’t think about anything else
Breathe in deeply and exhale just as you are
When someone sighs
How can I understand
Such deep breaths
Your sigh
Even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, that’s okay
I will embrace you
Thank you so much for your hard work

Lyrics Credit: kpopviral.com

Long time no type. My life have been good so far but there are still days where I feel so tired. This new song from Lee Hi just really touched my heart.

I am loving the lyrics even though they are so so so simple…

I would love to high-light and bold everything…if i really had to pinpoint one section, it would be this:
Your day was so difficult that it was hard for you to let out even a small sigh
Don’t think about anything else
Breathe in deeply and exhale just as you are

When i am feeling down from work or feeling so distant from who I want to be, having someone to tell me to just keep breathing just as I am is very comforting…what am I even saying? I use to have a saying that helped me push through the day. that was: just breathe. When the day gets so hard that even breathing hurts…getting a reminder/encouragement to breathe..helps me. I can’t say for others..but for me, it helps. I need a psychologist to look through my blog lol. Or perhaps I need to simply turn to God. 🙂

Anyways, thank you Lee Hi for this song. Thank you High Ground for bringing Lee Hi out of the YG dungeon…who knew how long she would have take to release anything. KUMM SAA AH MEE DAAA!

Day 38: Healer

OKAY. well, I just started and finish healer within this week. I must say..why didn’t i watch this drama sooner?! I can’t believe I almost missed this drama because of my biased opinions.

First, I started City Hunter..and I just could not finish it..the acting was so-so and the characters were just really a turn off for me. I understand that most female are seen as “fragile” beings that needs to be protected in the korean drama world however,,,there is a limit to it. So..yes, park min young nearly made me miss such an amazing drama.

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Next, to be honest, I didn’t recognize Ji Chang Wook. At first glance of the promotional poster..i thought he was Jae Joong from JYJ. It isn’t that I”m not a fan of Jae, but at that time, I couldn’t feel a pull from who i thought was Jae and PMY

Ji_Chang_Wook_New_Bin

So while I was at a family’s dinner this thanksgiving, I saw my relatives watching EMPRESS KI. A historical drama that JCW is in but has way too many episodes to watch at the current school term…so I watched healer! and..man was I hooked.

Instead of writing an entire summary, I’ll just for my own sake, write why this is quickly on one of my favourite drama. I am an avid korean drama viewer. Since 2003, so I got quite a few years under my belt not trying to be too cocky here hahahaaa. jkjk, this is not something I should be proud of haha ^^”’

  • the characters are smart.
    There has been way too many time where I just cannot stand the stupidity of some characters. Our female lead, she is quick and it doesn’t take her too long to figure things out on her OWN! I am just so proud that a character like that exist. Perhaps it is also her role as a reporter..but she questions and seek answers. I think that really is inspiring for viewers too!
  • characters quickly clear misunderstandings
    They talk about their doubts that they have for each other. Our leads are so willing to love each other that they actually listen to each other. After listening to them, they are given the decision whether they would want to trust each other or not. To continue with this, the trust they have for each other is quite undeniable. Their strength of their feelings towards each other is portrayed really well. For example, the scene where JCW seeks to find evidence that his father was accused of murdering her biological father, PMYs’ love towards JCW is quite evidential as she reassures him that he is not a bad person and that she wants him to stay with her whether he finds proof or not.
  • every character feels so human.
    This includes protagonist side or antagonist side. I understand why the bad guys do the bad things they do…even though it doesn’t justify anything..but I feel a sense of pity towards them. Maybe because I am human as well? Each character has their backstory and I am glad to have met them, good and bad guys 🙂
  • whoever is in charge of sound and music are amazing.
    The song selections are amazing. At the moment, I am listening to Eternal Love by Michael Learns to Rock. Just one of the many great songs from the drama. Not only music, but the timing of silence was also well done. They didn’t needlessly place music to fill in gaps but they also managed to make silence a track itself. I think it was when JCW was holding the murder weapon and PMY witness him and the amount of shock was maximized with the silence placed. Clever move.
  • The love. Okay, ya. I don’t think I need to say much. They make hugs look so amazing that I may have the hugging syndrome for a few days now…oops.
  • Their was no love triangle between the main leads! I am so so so happy that it worked out successful. It just makes me value the main relationship so much more. There was no evil second lead, no second male lead syndrome..though i must say that Yoo Ji Tae is a fine man indeed. I love how he is their sam choon and his great encouragement towards their love. Another thing I love is how drawn they were towards each other right from their start..and also..their wasn’t that much doubt in their love. I am very very grateful for that.
  • Flashbacks. Though they repeated a few several times, I felt that they were not overdone and I felt that it had a perfect placement on it. I might even say, this drama would lose a third of its touch without the flashback so I am very satisfied.
  • ONE thing I must say that is a slight turn off..is that the ending!! I wanted to see more ever after part..sort of like..was it oh my ghostess?? I dont remember, but ya, I really do dislike it when they end it off too quickly..and I guess one more thing to add, I would want to minus 10% of the political parts..but i guess they still have to have some background story.

OKAY! I just really felt the need to write a post about this as the emotions are still pretty much in its “raw form”. Glad I did and I might even think about re-watching this. This is definitely precious to me.

closing-pic

This character really speaks to me as person. Healer. I want to have characteristics of his..to have a big heart. I really do.

anyways, I should sign off now. too-da-loo~
misscarriehohoho

Day 36: Oops

Well..it has been quite a while since my update. After reading my friend’s blog, i was starting to be quite..self conscious about the format of my blog. With that being said, this blog is really just like my journal. Jumble of thoughts. I should stick to the core reason of why I started this blog: messy thoughts all in one place.

Yesterday, I watched my sister’s keeper. I read the book a few years back and although I prefer the book, the movie was still just as capable of making me bawl my eyes out. I really like the ending which was what differ from the book. Anna doesn’t die but something she said at the end: At the end, I had a sister. It really made me think of perspectives.

This summer, I think I have grown up to be someone who is more willing to talk my problems out in order to deal and solve them. For example, when I was younger, my mother and I would just argue, stop talking for a few days, then talk again. However, nothing is solved during this time. Sometimes, these events come back and haunts us or perhaps we keep these bitter memories with us. These days, the feelings we have are released out and is shared verbally. Is this what people call, growing up?

Just right now, I watched another great movie, The Grand Budapest Hotel. If I had to take one thing this movie has taught me is that when you love, love greatly. Love 100%. Don’t give it a weak 10%. Therefore, I will attempt to apply this rule to my own life. When I love my mother, when I love my God, when I love those I care fore, I will love them 100%.

Lately, I have been following “Show me the money 4”, a so call korean hip hop competition. Main reason I bothered to watch season 4 was for Mino from Winner. However, after awhile, I have slowly started to discover a few other great people on this show despite the “evil editing” this show has done. Basick who is a father who wants to live his desires in life to support his family. All these young adults on this show all striving to be the best in what they are good at. This Hallyu craze, this strive towards fame is not a simple one. It’s either hit or miss. Even if you become the best, you can still be stabbed in the back and fall anytime. Look at Mino as a prime example. If he had not even been on this show, he would have remained the goody-toe-shoed winner. However, he wants to prove to those who questioned his rapper ability, and stand up against those who had blocked his path and made him stumble. Unfortunately, even with such ambitions, this show backlashed onto him. His lyric controversy and those countless netizens who insist that the company is rigged by YG…all these events are quite sad honestly.
With all this, what I am trying to say is that, there is no guarantee in this “world” that we live in. (christian sidenote: there is a guarantee in God though but that’s just a personal opinion 😀 )People on this earth are capable of being evil human beings. We are all capable of being evil and doing evil. It’s just whether we choose to or not.

Through all this, whether it is for the sake of his reputation, I am just glad that Mino remained his cool. I’m just proud that his moral remained in tact and he chose to be the “bigger person”. I really enjoyed his semi-final performance with Taeyang. YG tag or not, this was a song that showed another side to Mino, a side that was afraid and pressured by his weakness. I hope he remains strong and that he may find comfort through his brothers.

After a long long long blog, I leave: Fear by Mino ft. TaeYang

Lyrics:

ENGLISH

When I looked back I had come farther than I thought
I was all alone, and all of a sudden I feared
When I looked at myself, I didn’t know that I was exhausted
I was all alone, and all of a sudden I feared

You’re doing well
When you become confused, just like you’ve done so far, just go
Just do yourself, you know yourself
You practiced around a few thousand times
Broke down once or twice, now it’s nothing
Opportunity has always meant (you know it) standing up again at life’s crisis
You said you’re going on a trip to heaven, Quickly pack your suitcase

Don’t stop, you still have lots of work to do
Look at the photo of your parents who look after you
You’re your dongsaeng’s mirror as well as your family’s star
I musn’t sleep so that they can sleep comfortably
Hey you r*tard, don’t be so obvious
Stand strong, I know, even if you’re lonely
You need to endure this
Are your tears falling, you b*stard
Stop crying and raise it again, your responsibility

Eh when I didn’t want to see anything
I forced my eyes open because I just feared
It was because I suddenly became afraid eh oh
When I didn’t want to speak at all,
I purposedly raised my voice because
There is no other reason
I fear, I fear

I said it like a habit
“I always trust myself”
“There is no opponent”
But enemy was in my mirror
I must’ve lost my mind because of the continuous fight
I killed myself
My mom has become wary of me

To receive the attention of the public eh, to live inside a CCTV eh
I dug at one place to the point of death
The fact that this might become my grave scare me

Father, if you’re looking at me
Tell me the answer
I’m much too young and fragile to be an adult
I still don’t know the way
I know now that it hurts too much to keep hitting myself over something
Maybe it’s too late now
To just keep stupidly whipping
There are too many wounds that won’t close

Eh when I didn’t want to see anything
I forced my eyes open because I just feared
It was because I suddenly became afraid eh oh
When I didn’t want to speak at all,
I purposedly raised my voice because
There is no other reason
I fear, I fear
I keep getting afraid

I’m thankful for everything
Ignoring my religion
From the corrupted directors who tried to use this boy 6 years ago
To my current agency that rescued me
For the numerous contestants who allowed this stage
For my uncle in heaven who taught me how men live
For my family, my shoulders
Even my members who are like brothers
I’ll receive consolation just until today and
From tomorrow, I’ll be mature instead of being a coward
Love ya

Eh when I didn’t want to see anything
I forced my eyes open because I just feared
It was because I suddenly became afraid eh oh
When I didn’t want to speak at all,
I purposedly raised my voice because
There is no other reason
I fear, I fear
I keep getting afraid

ROMANIZATIONS

dwidora bwasseul ttae saenggakboda meolli waisseosseo
nan honjayeotkko mundeuk geobi natjji
naega nal ppwasseul ttae jicheoitdan sashireul mollasseosseo
nan werowotkko mundeuk geobi natjji

neon jalhakko isseo
hetkkallil ttaemyeon yeotae geuraetdeon geotcheoreom geunyang Go
neodapkke hae neoneun neoreul ara
yeonseupaetjjana han su cheon beoneun marya
jwajeol han du beon ijen shishihae
wollae gihoeraneun geon insaengui wigie neon aljjana dashi ireonaneun beop
cheongugyeohaeng gandamyeo eoseo ssa kaerieo

meomchuji mara ajik hal il mana
dwitpparajihaneun bumonimui sajinbwa
neon dongsaengdeureh geourija gajoktteurui byeol
nega jameul jjuryeoyaman
geudeuri pyeonhage sungmyeon
ya i byeongshina ti jom naejima
maeum dandanhi meogeo ara weropjjiman
gyeondyeonaeya dwae
nunmul heullinya sanaesaekkiga
ttuk geuchigo dashi deureo chaegimgam

eh amugeotdo bogi shireosseul ttae
eokjjiro nuneul ppureuptteun geon
geunyang geomnaseo
deolkeok geobi naseo geurae eh oh
amu maltto hagi shireosseul ttae ilbureo mokssoril nopin geon
There is no other reason
geobi na nan geobi na

ipppeoreutcheoreom malhaesseo
eonjena naneun nareul mideo
sangdaeneun eopttamyeo
But enemy was in my mirror
gyesokttwen ssaume iseongeul ireosseonnabwa
naega nareul jjugyeosseo
eommado nae nunchireul ppwa

daejungeh gwanshimeul ppanneun ge eh
CCTV soge saneun ge eh
hangonman jugeora panneunde
geuge nae mudeomi doel sudo
itdaneun ge buseowosseo

abeoji nal ppogo itdamyeon
jeongdabeul allyeojwo
eoreuni dwegien nan eorigo yeoryeo
ajiktto bangbeobeul moreugo
budichineun jinman hagien
neomu apeudaneun geol
ije arasseo neomu neujeonnabwa
musikage chaejjikjjilman hagien
amulji aneun sangcheoga neomu mana
eh amugeotdo bogi shireosseul ttae

eh amugeotdo bogi shireosseul ttae
eokjjiro nuneul ppureuptteun geon
geunyang geomnaseo
deolkeok geobi naseo geurae u eh o
amu maltto hagi shireosseul ttae ilbureo mokssoril nopin geon
There is no other reason
geobi na nan geobi na
jakku geobi na

nan modeun ge gamsahae
nae jonggyoreul tteonaseo
yuknyeon jeonbuteo i kkomaengireul
iyongharyeo haetdeon
aktteok daepyonimdeul jjocha
nal kkuwonhaejun jigeumui hoesado
i mudaereul naeeojun sumaneun chamgajado
namjaui salmeul allyeojun
haneure gyeshin keunappado
gajok nae eokkaedeulkkwa
hyeongje gateun membeodeultto
ttak oneulkkajjiman wiroreul ppatkko
naeilbuteon geopjjaengiga anin
seongsukaejin naro

eh amugeotdo bogi shireosseul ttae
eokjjiro nuneul ppureuptteun geon
geunyang geomnaseo
deolkeok geobi naseo geurae u eh o
amu maltto hagi shireosseul ttae ilbureo mokssoril nopin geon
There is no other reason
geobi na nan geobi na

HANGUL 

뒤돌아 봤을 때 생각보다 멀리 와있었어
난 혼자였고 문득 겁이 났지
내가 날 봤을 때 지쳐있단 사실을몰랐었어
난 외로웠고 문득 겁이 났지

넌 잘하고 있어
헷갈릴 때면 여태 그랬던 것처럼 그냥 Go
너답게 해 너는 너를 알아
연습했잖아 한 수 천 번은 말야
좌절 한 두 번 이젠 시시해
원래 기회라는 건 인생의 위기에 넌 알잖아 다시 일어나는 법
천국여행 간다며 어서 싸 캐리어

멈추지 마라 아직 할 일 많아
뒷바라지하는 부모님의 사진봐
넌 동생들의 거울이자 가족들의 별
네가 잠을 줄여야만 그들이 편하게 숙면
야 이 병신아 티 좀 내지마
마음 단단히 먹어 알아 외롭지만
견뎌내야 돼
눈물 흘리냐 사내새끼가
뚝 그치고 다시 들어 책임감

eh 아무것도 보기 싫었을 때
억지로 눈을 부릅뜬 건
그냥 겁나서 덜컥 겁이 나서 그래 eh oh
아무 말도 하기 싫었을 때
일부러 목소릴 높인 건
There is no other reason
겁이 나 난 겁이 나

입버릇처럼 말했어
언제나 나는 나를 믿어
상대는 없다며
But enemy was in my mirror
계속된 싸움에 이성을 잃었었나봐
내가 나를 죽였어
엄마도 내 눈치를 봐

대중의 관심을 받는 게 eh CCTV 속에 사는 게 eh
한곳만 죽어라 팠는데
그게 내 무덤이 될 수도 있다는 게 무서웠어

아버지 날 보고 있다면
정답을 알려줘
어른이 되기엔 난 어리고 여려
아직도 방법을 모르고
부딪히는 짓만 하기엔 너무 아프다는 걸
이제 알았어 너무 늦었나봐
무식하게 채찍질만 하기엔
아물지 않은 상처가 너무 많아

eh 아무것도 보기 싫었을 때
억지로 눈을 부릅뜬 건
그냥 겁나서
덜컥 겁이 나서 그래 u eh o
아무 말도 하기 싫었을 때
일부러 목소릴 높인 건
There is no other reason
겁이 나 난 겁이 나
자꾸 겁이 나

난 모든 게 감사해
내 종교를 떠나서
6년 전부터 이 꼬맹이를 이용하려 했던 악덕 대표님들 조차
날 구원해준 지금의 회사도
이 무대를 내어준 수많은 참가자도
남자의 삶을 알려준 하늘에 계신 큰아빠도
가족 내 어깨들과
형제 같은 멤버들도
딱 오늘까지만 위로를 받고
내일부턴 겁쟁이가 아닌 성숙해진 나로
Love ya

eh 아무것도 보기 싫었을 때
억지로 눈을 부릅뜬 건
그냥 겁나서 덜컥 겁이 나서 그래 u eh o
아무 말도 하기 싫었을 때
일부러 목소릴 높인 건
There is no other reason
겁이 나 난 겁이 나

Source: melon
Translations by: @chrissy96_, @minocentury
Romanizations by: With_WINNER
LINK: https://withwinner.wordpress.com/2015/08/22/lyrics-150821-mino-feat-taeyang-fear-%EA%B2%81-from-smtm4-episode-9-semi-finals/