Day 47: reassurance

reassurance = the action of removing someone’s doubts or fears – google

today was one of those days where I feel unsure even when I was correct and in the rights.

somebody was trying to use me to push someone off the cliff – figuratively-ish. However, I was like “NO!” – indirectly.

I felt uncomfortable being placed in that position but as I shared my story today with a good buddy, they gave me reassurance that I needed.
“you did what was right – dont betray your integrity and consciousness for something like that”

my praise-prayer got deleted / never got posted however, I would like to repeat it.
Thank God for giving me opportunity to experience the different type of people. For allowing me to mature and to seek for help when I needed. Thank you for being patient with me and showing me mercy; I am so undeserving of your love yet you still place different people in my life – to show me the reassurance that I needed and that I am not to forget the Christ-like lessons I have been taught. So I thank you and I pray that I can continue to live a life where I am wise in all I do, say, and think.

seems quite appropriate to place Michael Jackson’s classic hit song: Man in the Mirror

Changes start with one; changes starts with me. every emotion I feel in different situation depends on how I see it and how I respond. 

You know that saying..or you may not know: tears are like car wipers, after you cry for whatever had happened to you, you can finally see clearer.

carriehohoho OUT.

Day 46: to be continued…

“to be continued…” – reminds me of watching Pokemon and at the end of every episode at the corner of the last scene where Ash and friends walk towards a sunset, there is this quote.

Isn’t it interesting how often time, we can pick up from where we left off and just continue? This can be applied to friendship as well. BUT, may not apply to all friendships.

Good to be realistic at times. This december was quite kind to me. 2017, please continue to show your grace and kindness. 🙂

Would I ever complete 100 days worth of post? Let’s hope so! 🙂

carriehohoho OUT.

Day 42

imageFirst night without mom. It’s always good to have some time off from people once in awhile. The distance help you cherish the closeness when it is available.

Just finish watching “Transcendence” starring Johnny Depp, Rebecca Hall, & Paul Bettany. I bet there is some awesome paper that analyzes this movie and I would love to read them. I would also like to write it but lack the writing skill to do so. So, I will make a simple list with words that can have a quick description of the thoughts I was having while watching this movie.

  1. technology; it can save and it can kill.
  2. how is humanity using technology? for the greater good? how are they using it now? are they abusing it? or are they still lacking in this? can we use it to “save” the world?
  3. what does it mean to “save” the world.
  4. are we trying to be our own god? are we trying to be other people’s god?
  5. how are we advancing? or are we simply moving backwards? are we striving or dying?
  6. morally right…or not?
  7. greater good? :T

To get rid of all this deeep thinking, I am watching running man 🙂

Day 40: Breathe.

 

Lee Hi – Breathe

Lyrics:

Breathe in deeply
Until both sides of your chest
Get numb
Exhale more
Until they start to hurt a little
Until you feel like
There’s nothing left inside of you

It’s okay if your breath gets short
No one is blaming you
You can make mistakes from time to time
Everyone else does too
If I tell you “it’s alright”
I know that they’re only words
When someone sighs
How can I understand
Such deep breaths
Your sigh
Even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, that’s okay
I will embrace you

It’s okay if your breath gets short
No one is blaming you
You can make mistakes from time to time
Everyone else does too
If I tell you “it’s alright”
I know that they’re only words
When someone sighs
How can I understand
Such deep breath
Your sigh
Even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, that’s okay
I will embrace you

Even though your sigh may seem cheerless to others
I know that
Your day was so difficult that it was hard for you to let out even a small sigh
Don’t think about anything else
Breathe in deeply and exhale just as you are
When someone sighs
How can I understand
Such deep breaths
Your sigh
Even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, that’s okay
I will embrace you
Thank you so much for your hard work

Lyrics Credit: kpopviral.com

Long time no type. My life have been good so far but there are still days where I feel so tired. This new song from Lee Hi just really touched my heart.

I am loving the lyrics even though they are so so so simple…

I would love to high-light and bold everything…if i really had to pinpoint one section, it would be this:
Your day was so difficult that it was hard for you to let out even a small sigh
Don’t think about anything else
Breathe in deeply and exhale just as you are

When i am feeling down from work or feeling so distant from who I want to be, having someone to tell me to just keep breathing just as I am is very comforting…what am I even saying? I use to have a saying that helped me push through the day. that was: just breathe. When the day gets so hard that even breathing hurts…getting a reminder/encouragement to breathe..helps me. I can’t say for others..but for me, it helps. I need a psychologist to look through my blog lol. Or perhaps I need to simply turn to God. 🙂

Anyways, thank you Lee Hi for this song. Thank you High Ground for bringing Lee Hi out of the YG dungeon…who knew how long she would have take to release anything. KUMM SAA AH MEE DAAA!

Day 30: Forever alone.

2 thoughts I have been having for the past few days.
1) God is here. We can’t see God. We could only see the results of God’s work. Like the wind that pushes the leaves on the branches.
2) I don’t think I can ever find a bf. haha.
Recently, one of my friend just got a bf. I have been thinking, why am I not dating yet? I’m 22. Time for “child-bearing” as my pilot bestie tells me. hahaa.
Beside from the obvious over-weightness/appearance; I think I am someone who is very willing to give all her love to someone. BUT,,,that may be the problem.
I believe that once I find that “special” one, I would give my all to them…like a mother loving their child, they give their entire heart to their child. I feel like I am like that too…..
CONTROL. LOL. Well, we’ll see what is God’s plan for me. 🙂

man, this 100 entry is much harder than I thought.

Been listening to this song from Epik High. Tablo is someone who I really admire. He went through so many downs yet, he is what we human call, “successful”. No matter how citizens of korea criticized him, his family held onto him. This song, “Over” is definitely not their best songs but it is a good enough of a reflection fall-down-but-get-back-up song. Epik High, my first concert: May 31 2015. It was truly an epik night.

You got so much to prove
Hoping they approve
The only thing that’s true is all you ever do is do
You’re moving shoe to shoe but you’re not going
You stop growing, the moment that you stay at the top
The only way is to drop
Free-falling down the stairs that you climbed up
Lined up to freely mount the air
But you dare not air drop
Tied up like a hair knot
Hiking down without a chance on stepping on a fair rock
And so, you stand still in a stand-still
Hand still buildin’ castles on a sand hill
“Man chill” is what your friends say
But you’re not hearin’ what little men say
Anyway, keep on going, and taste the stars
Keep on growing, and raise the bar
You’re living life for the As down to the Zs
After the hill you got a mountain to seize

You are, an over-achiever
Do what it takes till it takes everything you are (x2)

Who can tell?
Your living is an organized hell.
The mansion of your mind, just an over-sized cell
The pressure, everything is done to a measure
In the sea of competition sunk like a treasure
Like a feather fallin’ slow spiraling to the floor
Strung up like a broken violin to your course
Opportunity is knocking at your door
But you never left a welcome mat(It doesn’t matter anymore)
Or anyhow, but you’re too late to turn back
Fate pushin’ you to the wall like a thumbtack
Ain’t no comebacks in the game of life
Roll the dice again
Roll it once, never twice

Keep on going, and taste the stars
Keep on growing, and raise the bar
You’re livin’ life for the As down to the Zs
After one drop you got a fountain to seize

You are, an over-achiever
Do what it takes till it takes everything you are (x3)
Wanna break from the world, but the world wanna break you
The weight makes your backbone curl up and ache you

Credit: http://imberribored.livejournal.com/3885.html

Day 28: Motivation

I know as a Christian, I am suppose to find motivation through Christ. However, it is so much easier said than done.

I go on google to find “motivation through Christ”. It gives me some verses…but i just cannot connect..nor do I want to.

Maybe I’m just sleepy…and lacking some energy. Whatever it is, I hope I can get out of this slump soon..and fast. I have lots of school work to work on!

Day 27b: Desire for Him

A Constant fight I have with Satan.


Read on google how someone said, desire is dead without will…but I think that there would be no will if there is no desire, desire is greater than will. There can be no will if we do not desire. What are we willing to do if we do not desire it, if we do not crave for it? That is why I think we need to have more than a will to follow God. We need to have the desire to follow him; in addition to the desire, we need to create will to follow through with our desire. He should be our one desire.

I know I am using the word “desire” and “will” many times here. Just had a talk with my wonderful cousin who showed me the difference and I think it is important to remember why we are disciples of Christ. What was the spark of fire that lighted our heart to want to know Him more and to be saved through Him?