Day 47: reassurance

reassurance = the action of removing someone’s doubts or fears – google

today was one of those days where I feel unsure even when I was correct and in the rights.

somebody was trying to use me to push someone off the cliff – figuratively-ish. However, I was like “NO!” – indirectly.

I felt uncomfortable being placed in that position but as I shared my story today with a good buddy, they gave me reassurance that I needed.
“you did what was right – dont betray your integrity and consciousness for something like that”

my praise-prayer got deleted / never got posted however, I would like to repeat it.
Thank God for giving me opportunity to experience the different type of people. For allowing me to mature and to seek for help when I needed. Thank you for being patient with me and showing me mercy; I am so undeserving of your love yet you still place different people in my life – to show me the reassurance that I needed and that I am not to forget the Christ-like lessons I have been taught. So I thank you and I pray that I can continue to live a life where I am wise in all I do, say, and think.

seems quite appropriate to place Michael Jackson’s classic hit song: Man in the Mirror

Changes start with one; changes starts with me. every emotion I feel in different situation depends on how I see it and how I respond. 

You know that saying..or you may not know: tears are like car wipers, after you cry for whatever had happened to you, you can finally see clearer.

carriehohoho OUT.

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Day 40: Breathe.

 

Lee Hi – Breathe

Lyrics:

Breathe in deeply
Until both sides of your chest
Get numb
Exhale more
Until they start to hurt a little
Until you feel like
There’s nothing left inside of you

It’s okay if your breath gets short
No one is blaming you
You can make mistakes from time to time
Everyone else does too
If I tell you “it’s alright”
I know that they’re only words
When someone sighs
How can I understand
Such deep breaths
Your sigh
Even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, that’s okay
I will embrace you

It’s okay if your breath gets short
No one is blaming you
You can make mistakes from time to time
Everyone else does too
If I tell you “it’s alright”
I know that they’re only words
When someone sighs
How can I understand
Such deep breath
Your sigh
Even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, that’s okay
I will embrace you

Even though your sigh may seem cheerless to others
I know that
Your day was so difficult that it was hard for you to let out even a small sigh
Don’t think about anything else
Breathe in deeply and exhale just as you are
When someone sighs
How can I understand
Such deep breaths
Your sigh
Even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, that’s okay
I will embrace you
Thank you so much for your hard work

Lyrics Credit: kpopviral.com

Long time no type. My life have been good so far but there are still days where I feel so tired. This new song from Lee Hi just really touched my heart.

I am loving the lyrics even though they are so so so simple…

I would love to high-light and bold everything…if i really had to pinpoint one section, it would be this:
Your day was so difficult that it was hard for you to let out even a small sigh
Don’t think about anything else
Breathe in deeply and exhale just as you are

When i am feeling down from work or feeling so distant from who I want to be, having someone to tell me to just keep breathing just as I am is very comforting…what am I even saying? I use to have a saying that helped me push through the day. that was: just breathe. When the day gets so hard that even breathing hurts…getting a reminder/encouragement to breathe..helps me. I can’t say for others..but for me, it helps. I need a psychologist to look through my blog lol. Or perhaps I need to simply turn to God. 🙂

Anyways, thank you Lee Hi for this song. Thank you High Ground for bringing Lee Hi out of the YG dungeon…who knew how long she would have take to release anything. KUMM SAA AH MEE DAAA!

Day 31: Tori – Kelly : All in My Head

“All In My Head”

[Verse 1]
I see you with her and it crushes me inside
Guess I should stop thinking about you all the time
Maybe this is what I needed maybe this is a sign
Maybe I’ve been blind to reality baby tell me

[Chorus]
Every little glance my way
Every time you wanted to hang
You seemed so interested
Could you tell me was it real or was it all in my head
Was it real or was it all in my head

[Verse 2]
She’s so pretty you two look so great
Time for me to move on now it was probably just a silly crush anyway
But I just cant help but think that we, we could’ve had something
Have I really been blind to reality baby tell me

[Chorus]
Every little glance my way
Every time you wanted to hang
You seemed so interested
Could you tell me was it real or was it all in my head
Was it real or was it all in my head

[Bridge]
Was it real or was it fake?
Was it all a mistake?
Boy, I just gotta know was it all in my head, all in my head?
Did you ever feel the same?
Was my mind just playing games?
Boy, I just gotta know was it all in my head, all in my head?

[Chorus]
Every little glance my way
Every time you wanted to hang
You seemed so interested
Could you tell me was it real or was it all in my head in my head
Was it real or was it all in my head

Day 25: AKMU

AKMU – Melted
Haven’t written in such a long time. School life. Church Life. Family Life.
Lately, things have been a little rough with mom and I. It’s hard to deal with it sometimes. I have to see her as my boss. I have to see her as a mother. I also see her as one of my closest friend. So all these combine together is a little straining to be honest. It gets more tough when she goes through hormonal phases as she’s hitting menopause which often affects her mood. So…this makes me constantly confused of which “mom” I am suppose to approach. Therefore, when I am incapable of reading the situation and I treat her as a friend while she’s in boss mode, I make mistake…and irritation occurs. Different “mom” comes with different Carrie. It isn’t better when I have exams lately and I’m losing my will to study. All I can do is leave it up to God. right..? right.
This song is pretty mellow and really suits the mood I’m in. Sometimes when I”m feeling a little down, listening to jolly songs does not help while having a song that just matches the mood does. hm.
For an English final I’m taking, we had to read by Nick Hornby, “About a Body”. A few quotes that I think really forces me to rethink about my perspective is:
1) pg. 274-275: “he realized that Ellie spent her whole time wanting life to be shit, and then making life shit by making things difficult for herself”. It then goes on to page 275: “If either of them had real trouble in their lives, they wouldn’t want or need to invent it for themselves”. So many times, we create the feelings we have ourselves and take all the wonderful present for granted. It’s almost as if we’re punishing ourself for being so blessed. hm. just thought of the day.


AKMU – Melted

The blue ocean that the red sun used to wash its face turns black

The white sky that had clouds and rain and the wind turns gray
I leave the darkness that finds my heart
Even the cold shadow that covers the night starts to harden

If the ice melts, a warmer song would have come out
But why is the ice so cold? Why is it so cold?
Why are they so cold
Why are they so cold

The blue ocean that the red sun used to wash its face
I look at the past warmth that is deeply buried (too late get it out)
I wish the cold in the world of adults would be gone too
I wish the frozen love will melt away now

I leave the darkness that finds my heart
Even the cold shadow that covers the night starts to harden

If the ice melts, a warmer song would have come out
But why is the ice so cold? Why is it so cold?

If the ice melts, a warmer song would have come out
But why is the ice so cold? Why is it so cold?
Why are they so cold
Why are they so cold

Romanized:

Bulgeun haega sesuhadeon paran bada geomge muldeulgo
Gureum bibaram ogadeon hayan haneul hoesaek bitteulgo
Mamsoge chajaon eodumeul geudaero dugo
Bameul deopeun chagaun geurimjamanyang gudeoganda

Eoreumdeuri nogajimyeon
Jogeum deo ttatteutan noraega naoltende
Eoreumdeureun wae geureoke chagaulkka
Chagaulkkayo

Why are they so cold
Why are they so cold

Bulgeun haega sesuhadeon paran bada
Geu gipi muchin yet ongireul barabonda
Too late get it out
Eoreundeul sesang chuwido pullyeosseumyeon hae
Eoreotdeon sarangi ijen juwiro heulleosseumyeon hae

Mamsoge chajaon eodumeul geudaero dugo
Bameul deopeun chagaun geurimjamanyang gudeoganda

Eoreumdeuri nogajimyeon
Jogeum deo ttatteutan noraega naoltende
Eoreumdeureun wae geureoke chagaulkka
Chagaulkkayo

Eoreumdeuri nogajimyeon
Jogeum deo ttatteutan noraega naoltende
Eoreumdeureun wae geureoke chagaulkka
Chagaulkkayo

Why are they so cold
Why are they so cold

Translation Credits: pop!gasa
Romanizations by: kpoplyrics.netRead more:http://www.kpoplyrics.net/akmu-melted-lyrics-english-romanized.html#ixzz3XjHlspM0
Follow us: @kpoplyrics_net on Twitter | kpoplyricsnet on Facebook

With all this being said, these two talented little munchkins! They are siblings; the brother is the composers of all their songs. They are what Korean might considered as not pretty but I’m glad they are doing so well to prove that not only Barbie’s can be successful! They are also season 2 winner of KPOP Stars and joined YG FAMILY! wooot! yep!

Work Cited
Hornby, Nick. About a Boy. New York: Penguin Group. 1998. Print

^hmm. I hope I did the work cite correct. I’m still working on MLA format.

That is it from me for now! Pop by after finals~
-misshohoho

Day 24: Smile

HI YA! ya. so writing consistently is quite a difficult task to do. I’ll try to update more frequently..not that anyone comes on my site. I have decided to get baptized! I am super nervous and excited at the same time. Just completed my draft for my testimony last night with lots of help from my cousin and counsellors. I think I’ll post it up after my pastor edit it a bit just so it can be semi-well written 😀

A song that I played while writing my testimony was….
Lord, I Need You by Matt Maher
I was so stuck on what to write and after continuously replaying this song, I just focus on all the times I needed him. I have already invited a lot of my friends who are non believer in hopes that perhaps my story can touch them? I can only leave it to God to touch their hearts. I hope you can realize how your life is in need of Christ 🙂

Lyrics:

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You’re the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I’ll fall on You
Jesus, You’re my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

You’re my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Credits: http://www.lyricshall.com

Day 22: Concentration Level

Should I be like Osmosis? Defy the norm. Go from low solute concentration to high solute concentration? Defy the odds?
Been study biology all the day. Prayed for concentration and in comparison to the other days, today have been quite a productive day.

Of course, with the occasional video watching and eating.
Watched Running Man episode 21, my spartace moments ❤

I feel like watching some of the older episodes allow hindsights. Seeing how everyone is still getting use to each other and building trust and friendship is what makes Running Man so precious to many viewers. To see Lee Kwang Soo as a variety newbie and comparing him to now? To see the few shy side of Spartar, Kim Jong Kook! Must not forget Song Jong Ki. I miss him 😦 I wish he can come back for a few (or remain) in Running Man. The Song sibling moments *tear tear* Just the few precious members that I can’t help always looking at when watching Running Man. Every time I watch Running Man, the desire to be fit and athletic creeps onto me…after midterm! I promise! Thursday! eeeks.

This leads to the more serious talk…hindsight and foreshadowing. Had a small talk with my G. Been having a few negative thoughts last night before going to bed. After asking a friend whether she wanted to go to another old friend’s birthday, she persistently replied: no. Her reason was because she feels awkward and has not been keeping touch with that friend. This got me thinking. When the day come when she has to go back to where she came from and we lose contact, would this become US? In addition to my school life, work life, christian life, and personal life, there are times where we don’t see each other for long period of time. She has been a good friend of my for over 5 years…almost 9 years? wow.

“Friendships are kept when both side take the effort” – G+C.
Reality hit and gone are the days where we just hang out in the mall and walking in endless circles. I want to eventually do missionary work or at least go away to foreign countries as a medical worker. I want to go far far away to help those who lack the access to help. When that day comes, I would definitely have even less moments of these long term friendship. I never want to lose it. Bittersweet.

If you call being ‘blessed’, having material things… then you don’t know what a blessing is.
Song Gunhee (#GUN/ShotGun) Starship-X Ent. [No.Mercy] trainee.cr:naver/navercast (via joo-gun)

I guess the best I can do is to cherish the moments I have with my friends.

A note from sermon that really touched my heart: God found me. I didn’t search for him but He found me. His love for me is so grand that all I can do is hope all I do is pleasing to Him.

Song: A Thousand Years – Christine Perri
Feels like a conversation between Him and I.

Lyrics: “A Thousand Years”

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone,
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more