Day 20: Get Back UP!

Well…after the Japan trip, I have been quite a lazy butt.
I stopped doing devotion and have just been adjusting to jet lag and my sore body. After a good of study and more later on, I feel like I should at least write something to continue my goal of writing of at least 100 day of something! hahaha

So after going to fellowship, I have been wanting to get back on track. There are times where I might need to take a peeing break from this stop so like my wonderful cousin say: pace it Carrie.

Yesterday in fellowship, the topic was on LENT.

Giving up on something. Sacrifice.

A Living Sacrifice

12 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

The word that spoke most to me was “pleasing”.
I have been living my whole life pleasing others and myself. Most of the time, it is to please mother. The other is to please the people who I want to love me or to care about me. This verse is telling me to please God. I think this is especially close to home because ever since going back to Christ’s path, that has been my ultimate goal. To do all things that would please him. Each addiction I have, I fight it in hopes that it would please Him.

For Lent, it is about being a living sacrifice. To be honest, I don’t know how strong my faith is to be so loudly proclaiming that I am willing to sacrifice my life for Him. I want to…but I am a sinful person with greed. However, to follow this in a less literal sense, it can be interpreted as giving up my human desires; giving up my addiction. Giving it up while focusing on improving myself to the path of God.

I admit, I watch a lot of Korean Drama. It is close to the point where it is taking over my life. It sounds a wee bit extreme but it is very close to the truth. I think working on this addiction during Lent will be very beneficial to myself. I don’t have much faith in myself that I can truly eliminate it but I will work on it. Day 4 at the current moment. However, this would be good in the sense that every time the desire to watch it shows up, I am aware and I am not making a reckless decision. In other words, I choose whether it is a(n): appropriate time to watch it? appropriate show? drama that could in some sort of way help me be a better me?

Just to clarify, there are such korean drama that I believe truly made me more aware and understand the world a little bit more. The recent ones that I watch were: It’s Okay, That’s Love and Pinocchio were both really shows that had really good moral cores within it.

Okay, to end off this blog. MUSIC:

This song is by Amber from her first solo album: Beautiful. Of course, beside from the fun mv and tempo of “Shake That Brass”, I have chosen Beautiful. I think this song must have been one of the most important song to Amber. I feel this song is quite vulnerable and it really touched me. I wish her all the best and I hope she continues being the silly llama she is!

Lyrics:

I hung my head low, avoiding the sky, hiding
The nights were endless in my dark heart, yeah yeah
I couldn’t spread my wings in this world that was like a small birdcage
With struggling movements, I’ll sing for you, who will come to me some day

So my dreams that spread its wings can shine even more in the blue sky
So my coldly shut heart can beat again, I’ll go up in the sky to the stars

Outside the door, I always had anxious scars
I can only fly if I endured through the pain

Those hurtful words deeply cut into my heart
It hurt but I bit my tongue and endured
I know I’m gonna heal and I’m always looking up
Even if it’s dark, I’m gonna find the light
I will smile, I will keep smiling
I’m a fighter, I won’t ever give up
I’ll keep flying, fly, fly again
My dreams wrap around the future me
I’ma just be me yeah only me
I’ma just be me yeah yeah

I can fly higher without fear, even when I’m trapped in darkness
Any kind of scar is beautiful to me
I’m just happy, I’m happy to be myself
I’m happy to be myself

Romanized:

Gogael sugin chae haneureul pihae sumji
Eoduun maeum sok bameun
Haneobtji yeah yeah
Nalgaereul pyeol su eobseosseo
Jobeun saejang gatatdeon sesang ape
Himgyeoun momjiseuro
Eonjenga chaja ol neol noraehae

Nalgaereul pyeolchin nae kkumi
Pureun haneure hayeomeobsi deo bitnage
Chagapge dachin nae mami dasi ttwidorok
Haneul nopi jeo byeoreul ttaraseo

Mun bakkeun eonjena buranhan sangcheoman namgo
Apeumeul gyeondyeoya nal suga isseo

Nalgaereul pyeolchin nae kkumi
Pureun haneure hayeomeobsi deo bitnage
Chagapge dachin nae mami dasi ttwidorok
Haneul nopi jeo byeoreul ttaraseo

Geu nalkaroun maldeuri
Nae mameul gipi beeo
Apeugin hajiman i angmulgo chamgo gyeondyeo
I know i’m gonna heal
And i’m always looking up
Nun api kamkamhaedo bicheul chajeul geoya
Naneun useul geoya gyesok useul geoya
I’m a fighter jeoldae pogihaji anha
Nan gyesokhaeseo nara fly tto nara
Nae kkumeun meon hut narui nae moseubeul doegama
I’ma just be me yeah only me
I’ma just be me yeah yeah

Duryeoum eobsi deo nopi nal suga isseo
Eodum soge gatyeodo
Geu eotteon sangcheomajeodo naegen areumdawo
I’m just happy
I’m happy to be myself
I’m happy to be myself

Translation Credits: pop!gasa
Romanizations by: kpoplyrics.net

Credits: http://www.kpoplyrics.net

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Day 19: Osaka

Hotel was not as bad as I had imagine but it was definitely a different class in comparison to Citadine. I’m okay but mother is not as okay about it. Changed two different room but still not fully satisfied as we have to change room on the last day. However five days here. We could make it!

Today was a tiring day. I think jet lag is still hitting us and many times throughout the day, it was pretty tense.

I only pray that tomorrow would be better when we get better rest tonight.

B: western breakfast. egg, sausage, toast, hot chocolate and coffee.
L/D: @osaka Mix Okonomiyaki (pork, squid, shrimp) recommended by a pair of (Chinese?) British travellers.
Late night snack: (?)

Watching the You Who Came From The Stars (again) with mom.

-misscarriehohoho