Day 49:update

I continue to be amazed by my own procrastination on this blog. It was suppose to be a 100 day blog and it is currently nearing the end of 2017 and I am still barely touching day 50. It is however, very pleasing to be able to view at my previous reflection and they do serve as an encouragement to me. So. quick update. Currently in the nursing program SEMESTER 1!

Ravi Zacharias Remembers His Young Protégé, Nabeel Qureshi

If this page I just posted above continues to work, it is truly a very interesting read passed on by a friend. I pray that I never lose that urge to seek Jesus and to share about the good news!

So just wanted to reflect a little on my first week of clinical before I totally forget.

Week 1:
day1 sept 14/2017. FIRST day and it was mainly orientation. We got to walk around the different departments and got to meet different health care roles such as pharmacy, OT, PT, doctors, nurses, care aids, movers, students that were in other semesters, nurses that use to be my clinical instructors students from many years ago. We were also introduce to where most of the equipments were located at and such but given my lack of direction sense and poor memory, even today, I still had trouble locating items. With the remaining time, we were able to stay in the exercise room and watch patient do a few therapeutic movement that allow the residents to move about. After the exercise class, it was time for lunch and we got to wipe patients hands! 🙂 After that, we got a debrief and was sent home to prepare for our next first day.

day 2 sept 15/2017. It was a bit more official-ish. We again went through our worksheet that included private information about our patients and their conditions and such. These are to be shredded in a confidential manner at the end of the shift. We went through the many short hand form and the potential patient we may want. Next, half of us followed a care aid who was helping patient do bed baths and peri-wash if needed. That day, there was only 1 care-aid but she was a speedy worker even while trying to give us newbies a preview. The awesome thing about my case is I am partnered with someone who was a care aid before the nursing program so that is super useful. The only thing is i Feel so behind and feel so lacking. Hopefully, I use these emotions to further push and improve myself to their level even though it will be hard. My partner is still working a shift currently. O.O daebak *clap clap kiddo* Even though we were unable to do a bed bath on our own that day, I was already feeling overwhelm. Me and my partner decided to do our paired work on a patient who is a little bit more difficult in terms of taking care and is someone who has a little bit more health conditions that we need to be mindful of. We ended the day going through KARDX (sp?) and patient’s health history binder. KARDX binder works as a snapshot binder. It is used to find quick recent information. We also went through another binder that is used to input recent measurements and such. I should really clarify these three binder’s differences. With all these different book-keeping task, no wonder nurses are always busy. Our ward have 1 RN, 3 PN, and usually 2 Care aides. They are all constantly running around and the bell lights never go off. It is constantly ringing and when one is answered, another one starts to ring! Looking forward to the day where I can move smoothly with all these different demands going on.

So I have moved to my coquitlam place officially yesterday! It already feels very different! && I have no internet until Saturday so using school’s internet for now. Gotta do what you gotta do right? right.

Week 2
sept 21/2017 TODAY!
So: woke up around 5:30 since i now live so close! However, I dont feel like that is a good idea as I feel even more tired and unprepared. Was rushing at the parking lot and rushing everything! & I also just got my period. so….yeah. Anways. Continue. So we start the morning off with of course: hand hygiene as I did not mention, hand hygiene is very very important especially in a hospital setting. yep. You dont want to pass anything to your patient, you don’t want to get anything your patient have. Went over the worksheet. Our patient had a fall last Thursday night and is on fall precautions like so many other folks in our unit. However, our patient hurt their head. So we have to be even more mindful.
Right from the get go, our patient who is diabetic, blood glucose read 2.6 which extremely low. Our patient also has many other conditions but this 2.6 was dangerous. Dextrose was assign and only after 5x4mg then another 5x4mg did their readings went back to 6.8 phew.
We had to do bed bath. I went to bed feeling okay since I had watch some videos in the library last night before going home. However, I started feeling like a blank slate. Just like clinical practice. I just. clueless. Was waiting for instructions to do things step by step. It was terrifying and I definitely felt like shit. Useless. Like that child who is waiting for her mom to move her hands and feet. Or like that girl who kept waiting for that uncle to get her a chair as he dropped her in a chinese school class room but never did. She just stood there, with her hands over her eyes and started tearing up. To this day, she does not understand why the teacher did not realize sooner and saved her from all that embarrassment. Being brave…takes courage. Some days, courage is harder to find. Some days, it doesn’t even require courage. My partner did most of the bed bath. Like everything. I just stood there and maybe pulled up a pant or two. It was only when our patient started needing to void did I finally did some sort of peri cleaning. Like just wipe bums. I unfortunately was not prepared for gloves or ready to get the materials since I forgot where things were. So, nts: briefs, garbage bag, caviel wipes: outside patient’s room., toothbrush, toothpaste, kidney basin, urinal, handwipes: equipment room, the other things such as syringes, suction tubes, suction bag, in the other equipment room, the laundry room: clean towels, warm peri-wipes (remember to refill a new one after you use one!/ blue is for shower. purple, can also use), then there is the disposal room: mastiraid machine. step on it! ONLY things that can be broken down into the machine. garbage into garbage. yep yep…. Ok.

^ that was good reflection. My lack of memory. Tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully I improve and work better and be better. I still love the job and although I do feel …quesy as I enter the hospital, I know it is because I am unprepared and lacking. I still have the heart, but maybe a more discipline heart is required to be a good nurse. I need to be properly train. Seeing my partner’s heart and desire and passion to want to do more than the care aid position they have had previously, I am proud and I desire to be just like them. This is the time when I should be putting all my heart and energy on yet I am not quite there yet. This is a gift from God. Last week, I felt like God had spoken to me several time.

As I was driving to school, I kept wondering, what is it that I can do as I desire for this career. Is this the right path? What am I suppose to be aiming for. I kept thinking about the different children that are going through suffering. The people who cannot go home, the people who are forced to migrate and find refugee. What about them? It was at that moment where I felt like I heard him say: take care of them. Care for them. I dont think those were the exact words or perhaps it was. I was too shock.

I also had a few nightmares.

actually had like 3.5 nightmares in my 20 min nap. First one, I had an argument with a friend, MG, about how rude she was so I wasn’t going to drive her home but really, I was waiting for her outside..this took place at the Rupert home , second, I was driving around hasting but suddenly the road stopped and was blocked but I missed it and as I was swerving, the road I was on started to just end as if I was merging into a road but there was no road for me to merge into.. and third, that nothing road then forced me to fall into a lake and I knew I was suppose to roll my window down immediately but my car had no electrical power to push the windows down…& so I was stuck in my car and you know how sometimes you wake up and try to sleep and try to change the dream, well I tried..this time I got the windows down but as I was trying to swim up, my foot was caught by seat matter how hard I tried to shake it, I couldn’t and after many times, I was still at that lake..& I started viewing it 3rd person view and was just thinking how sad it was because no one would pass by and no one knew I had died..

yahhh anyways. study time!