Day 48: Our Time

Our Time is a Taiwanese Coming of age movie. Really has me thinking of when I was young-ish. hehe. Everything was quite simple and the things I had needed to think was quite minimal in comparison to now. Small things would have been magnified and my entire day would be surrounded by these magnified small events. Such as if my lang zai gor gor took the same bus as me, whether he was with his friends or not, whether he was walking the quick route or not, whether we would “bump” into each other at the same entrance or not, whether we would pass each other in hall way, would eye contacts be made? Same with friendships – who am I to eat with today, did I just have an argument with my bff who seems to no longer want to be bff with me…all these things were the centre of my world at my youth age. My emotions were magnified; my events were magnified.

Now, the world has shrunk me. Everything outside of me seem so big and everything I do and feel all seem so minimal. As if they do not play much of a role in this big big world. Even though I know better – that each of us like mustard seed are capable of growth! Some days, this is easy to say but on days where I feel so weak and worthless, these negative thoughts would creep into every crooks and cranny.

Thoughts as I am aging:
Spiritual growth – can this type of growth be applied to my life? Am I living two separate lives where I am a Christian, and a citizen of this earth? Am I allowing the Holy Spirit into my life? Am I being in solitude or am I just being lonely? Am I being active in allowing the Holy Spirit take control and guide me to whatever paths planned out for me?

School / Career goals – 24! If 4-year school is in the plan, I would be 28! I am so old in comparison to all the students at school…however, am I being active in this goal? Am I being idle. IDLE : not working, not being used, lazy – without purpose or effect; pointless. me.

Money: I have enough. I am satisfied but it is wise to be careful with finance and not greed for more than required. It all depends on who I am comparing my life with. If I am comparing it to other low-income families, my family is quite wealthy and may seem like we have much. However, if I am comparing it to another family who belong in prestigious and exclusive class clubs, then I am just a scrub. It also relies on how important money & status to me. How about pride? It’s good to reflect on this every so often. I think money is important and is useful but it has the potential to do harm as well.

Song is by Hebe Tien for Our Times.

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