Day 37: Fear

Why do we fear? Is it the lack of faith in our God? The doubt in his ability to help us tackle challenges? Is it good to fear?

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Day 36: Oops

Well..it has been quite a while since my update. After reading my friend’s blog, i was starting to be quite..self conscious about the format of my blog. With that being said, this blog is really just like my journal. Jumble of thoughts. I should stick to the core reason of why I started this blog: messy thoughts all in one place.

Yesterday, I watched my sister’s keeper. I read the book a few years back and although I prefer the book, the movie was still just as capable of making me bawl my eyes out. I really like the ending which was what differ from the book. Anna doesn’t die but something she said at the end: At the end, I had a sister. It really made me think of perspectives.

This summer, I think I have grown up to be someone who is more willing to talk my problems out in order to deal and solve them. For example, when I was younger, my mother and I would just argue, stop talking for a few days, then talk again. However, nothing is solved during this time. Sometimes, these events come back and haunts us or perhaps we keep these bitter memories with us. These days, the feelings we have are released out and is shared verbally. Is this what people call, growing up?

Just right now, I watched another great movie, The Grand Budapest Hotel. If I had to take one thing this movie has taught me is that when you love, love greatly. Love 100%. Don’t give it a weak 10%. Therefore, I will attempt to apply this rule to my own life. When I love my mother, when I love my God, when I love those I care fore, I will love them 100%.

Lately, I have been following “Show me the money 4”, a so call korean hip hop competition. Main reason I bothered to watch season 4 was for Mino from Winner. However, after awhile, I have slowly started to discover a few other great people on this show despite the “evil editing” this show has done. Basick who is a father who wants to live his desires in life to support his family. All these young adults on this show all striving to be the best in what they are good at. This Hallyu craze, this strive towards fame is not a simple one. It’s either hit or miss. Even if you become the best, you can still be stabbed in the back and fall anytime. Look at Mino as a prime example. If he had not even been on this show, he would have remained the goody-toe-shoed winner. However, he wants to prove to those who questioned his rapper ability, and stand up against those who had blocked his path and made him stumble. Unfortunately, even with such ambitions, this showย backlashed onto him. His lyric controversy and those countless netizens who insist that the company is rigged by YG…all these events are quite sad honestly.
With all this, what I am trying to say is that, there is no guarantee in this “world” that we live in. (christian sidenote: there is a guarantee in God though but that’s just a personal opinion ๐Ÿ˜€ )People on this earth are capable of being evil human beings. We are all capable of being evil and doing evil. It’s just whether we choose to or not.

Through all this, whether it is for the sake of his reputation, I am just glad that Mino remained his cool. I’m just proud that his moral remained in tact and he chose to be the “bigger person”. I really enjoyed his semi-final performance with Taeyang. YG tag or not, this was a song that showed another side to Mino, a side that was afraid and pressured by his weakness. I hope he remains strong and that he may find comfort through his brothers.

After a long long long blog, I leave: Fear by Mino ft. TaeYang

Lyrics:

ENGLISH

When I looked back I had come farther than I thought
I was all alone, and all of a sudden I feared
When I looked at myself, I didnโ€™t know that I was exhausted
I was all alone, and all of a sudden I feared

Youโ€™re doing well
When you become confused, just like youโ€™ve done so far, just go
Just do yourself, you know yourself
You practiced around a few thousand times
Broke down once or twice, now itโ€™s nothing
Opportunity has always meant (you know it) standing up again at lifeโ€™s crisis
You said youโ€™re going on a trip to heaven, Quickly pack your suitcase

Donโ€™t stop, you still have lots of work to do
Look at the photo of your parents who look after you
Youโ€™re your dongsaengโ€™s mirror as well as your familyโ€™s star
I musnโ€™t sleep so that they can sleep comfortably
Hey you r*tard, donโ€™t be so obvious
Stand strong, I know, even if youโ€™re lonely
You need to endure this
Are your tears falling, you b*stard
Stop crying and raise it again, your responsibility

Eh when I didnโ€™t want to see anything
I forced my eyes open because I just feared
It was because I suddenly became afraid eh oh
When I didnโ€™t want to speak at all,
I purposedly raised my voice because
There is no other reason
I fear, I fear

I said it like a habit
โ€œI always trust myselfโ€
โ€œThere is no opponentโ€
But enemy was in my mirror
I mustโ€™ve lost my mind because of the continuous fight
I killed myself
My mom has become wary of me

To receive the attention of the public eh, to live inside a CCTV eh
I dug at one place to the point of death
The fact that this might become my grave scare me

Father, if youโ€™re looking at me
Tell me the answer
Iโ€™m much too young and fragile to be an adult
I still donโ€™t know the way
I know now that it hurts too much to keep hitting myself over something
Maybe itโ€™s too late now
To just keep stupidly whipping
There are too many wounds that wonโ€™t close

Eh when I didnโ€™t want to see anything
I forced my eyes open because I just feared
It was because I suddenly became afraid eh oh
When I didnโ€™t want to speak at all,
I purposedly raised my voice because
There is no other reason
I fear, I fear
I keep getting afraid

Iโ€™m thankful for everything
Ignoring my religion
From the corrupted directors who tried to use this boy 6 years ago
To my current agency that rescued me
For the numerous contestants who allowed this stage
For my uncle in heaven who taught me how men live
For my family, my shoulders
Even my members who are like brothers
Iโ€™ll receive consolation just until today and
From tomorrow, Iโ€™ll be mature instead of being a coward
Love ya

Eh when I didnโ€™t want to see anything
I forced my eyes open because I just feared
It was because I suddenly became afraid eh oh
When I didnโ€™t want to speak at all,
I purposedly raised my voice because
There is no other reason
I fear, I fear
I keep getting afraid

ROMANIZATIONS

dwidora bwasseul ttae saenggakboda meolli waisseosseo
nan honjayeotkko mundeuk geobi natjji
naega nal ppwasseul ttae jicheoitdan sashireul mollasseosseo
nan werowotkko mundeuk geobi natjji

neon jalhakko isseo
hetkkallil ttaemyeon yeotae geuraetdeon geotcheoreom geunyang Go
neodapkke hae neoneun neoreul ara
yeonseupaetjjana han su cheon beoneun marya
jwajeol han du beon ijen shishihae
wollae gihoeraneun geon insaengui wigie neon aljjana dashi ireonaneun beop
cheongugyeohaeng gandamyeo eoseo ssa kaerieo

meomchuji mara ajik hal il mana
dwitpparajihaneun bumonimui sajinbwa
neon dongsaengdeureh geourija gajoktteurui byeol
nega jameul jjuryeoyaman
geudeuri pyeonhage sungmyeon
ya i byeongshina ti jom naejima
maeum dandanhi meogeo ara weropjjiman
gyeondyeonaeya dwae
nunmul heullinya sanaesaekkiga
ttuk geuchigo dashi deureo chaegimgam

eh amugeotdo bogi shireosseul ttae
eokjjiro nuneul ppureuptteun geon
geunyang geomnaseo
deolkeok geobi naseo geurae eh oh
amu maltto hagi shireosseul ttae ilbureo mokssoril nopin geon
There is no other reason
geobi na nan geobi na

ipppeoreutcheoreom malhaesseo
eonjena naneun nareul mideo
sangdaeneun eopttamyeo
But enemy was in my mirror
gyesokttwen ssaume iseongeul ireosseonnabwa
naega nareul jjugyeosseo
eommado nae nunchireul ppwa

daejungeh gwanshimeul ppanneun ge eh
CCTV soge saneun ge eh
hangonman jugeora panneunde
geuge nae mudeomi doel sudo
itdaneun ge buseowosseo

abeoji nal ppogo itdamyeon
jeongdabeul allyeojwo
eoreuni dwegien nan eorigo yeoryeo
ajiktto bangbeobeul moreugo
budichineun jinman hagien
neomu apeudaneun geol
ije arasseo neomu neujeonnabwa
musikage chaejjikjjilman hagien
amulji aneun sangcheoga neomu mana
eh amugeotdo bogi shireosseul ttae

eh amugeotdo bogi shireosseul ttae
eokjjiro nuneul ppureuptteun geon
geunyang geomnaseo
deolkeok geobi naseo geurae u eh o
amu maltto hagi shireosseul ttae ilbureo mokssoril nopin geon
There is no other reason
geobi na nan geobi na
jakku geobi na

nan modeun ge gamsahae
nae jonggyoreul tteonaseo
yuknyeon jeonbuteo i kkomaengireul
iyongharyeo haetdeon
aktteok daepyonimdeul jjocha
nal kkuwonhaejun jigeumui hoesado
i mudaereul naeeojun sumaneun chamgajado
namjaui salmeul allyeojun
haneure gyeshin keunappado
gajok nae eokkaedeulkkwa
hyeongje gateun membeodeultto
ttak oneulkkajjiman wiroreul ppatkko
naeilbuteon geopjjaengiga anin
seongsukaejin naro

eh amugeotdo bogi shireosseul ttae
eokjjiro nuneul ppureuptteun geon
geunyang geomnaseo
deolkeok geobi naseo geurae u eh o
amu maltto hagi shireosseul ttae ilbureo mokssoril nopin geon
There is no other reason
geobi na nan geobi na

HANGULย 

๋’ค๋Œ์•„ ๋ดค์„ ๋•Œ ์ƒ๊ฐ๋ณด๋‹ค ๋ฉ€๋ฆฌ ์™€์žˆ์—ˆ์–ด
๋‚œ ํ˜ผ์ž์˜€๊ณ  ๋ฌธ๋“ ๊ฒ์ด ๋‚ฌ์ง€
๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋‚  ๋ดค์„ ๋•Œ ์ง€์ณ์žˆ๋‹จ ์‚ฌ์‹ค์„๋ชฐ๋ž์—ˆ์–ด
๋‚œ ์™ธ๋กœ์› ๊ณ  ๋ฌธ๋“ ๊ฒ์ด ๋‚ฌ์ง€

๋„Œ ์ž˜ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์–ด
ํ—ท๊ฐˆ๋ฆด ๋•Œ๋ฉด ์—ฌํƒœ ๊ทธ๋žฌ๋˜ ๊ฒƒ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ Go
๋„ˆ๋‹ต๊ฒŒ ํ•ด ๋„ˆ๋Š” ๋„ˆ๋ฅผ ์•Œ์•„
์—ฐ์Šตํ–ˆ์ž–์•„ ํ•œ ์ˆ˜ ์ฒœ ๋ฒˆ์€ ๋ง์•ผ
์ขŒ์ ˆ ํ•œ ๋‘ ๋ฒˆ ์ด์   ์‹œ์‹œํ•ด
์›๋ž˜ ๊ธฐํšŒ๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฑด ์ธ์ƒ์˜ ์œ„๊ธฐ์— ๋„Œ ์•Œ์ž–์•„ ๋‹ค์‹œ ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜๋Š” ๋ฒ•
์ฒœ๊ตญ์—ฌํ–‰ ๊ฐ„๋‹ค๋ฉฐ ์–ด์„œ ์‹ธ ์บ๋ฆฌ์–ด

๋ฉˆ์ถ”์ง€ ๋งˆ๋ผ ์•„์ง ํ•  ์ผ ๋งŽ์•„
๋’ท๋ฐ”๋ผ์ง€ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ถ€๋ชจ๋‹˜์˜ ์‚ฌ์ง„๋ด
๋„Œ ๋™์ƒ๋“ค์˜ ๊ฑฐ์šธ์ด์ž ๊ฐ€์กฑ๋“ค์˜ ๋ณ„
๋„ค๊ฐ€ ์ž ์„ ์ค„์—ฌ์•ผ๋งŒ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ํŽธํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์ˆ™๋ฉด
์•ผ ์ด ๋ณ‘์‹ ์•„ ํ‹ฐ ์ข€ ๋‚ด์ง€๋งˆ
๋งˆ์Œ ๋‹จ๋‹จํžˆ ๋จน์–ด ์•Œ์•„ ์™ธ๋กญ์ง€๋งŒ
๊ฒฌ๋ŽŒ๋‚ด์•ผ ๋ผ
๋ˆˆ๋ฌผ ํ˜๋ฆฌ๋ƒ ์‚ฌ๋‚ด์ƒˆ๋ผ๊ฐ€
๋š ๊ทธ์น˜๊ณ  ๋‹ค์‹œ ๋“ค์–ด ์ฑ…์ž„๊ฐ

eh ์•„๋ฌด๊ฒƒ๋„ ๋ณด๊ธฐ ์‹ซ์—ˆ์„ ๋•Œ
์–ต์ง€๋กœ ๋ˆˆ์„ ๋ถ€๋ฆ…๋œฌ ๊ฑด
๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ๊ฒ๋‚˜์„œ ๋œ์ปฅ ๊ฒ์ด ๋‚˜์„œ ๊ทธ๋ž˜ eh oh
์•„๋ฌด ๋ง๋„ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์‹ซ์—ˆ์„ ๋•Œ
์ผ๋ถ€๋Ÿฌ ๋ชฉ์†Œ๋ฆด ๋†’์ธ ๊ฑด
There is no other reason
๊ฒ์ด ๋‚˜ ๋‚œ ๊ฒ์ด ๋‚˜

์ž…๋ฒ„๋ฆ‡์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๋งํ–ˆ์–ด
์–ธ์ œ๋‚˜ ๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๋ฏฟ์–ด
์ƒ๋Œ€๋Š” ์—†๋‹ค๋ฉฐ
But enemy was in my mirror
๊ณ„์†๋œ ์‹ธ์›€์— ์ด์„ฑ์„ ์žƒ์—ˆ์—ˆ๋‚˜๋ด
๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ์ฃฝ์˜€์–ด
์—„๋งˆ๋„ ๋‚ด ๋ˆˆ์น˜๋ฅผ ๋ด

๋Œ€์ค‘์˜ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๋ฐ›๋Š” ๊ฒŒ eh CCTV ์†์— ์‚ฌ๋Š” ๊ฒŒ eh
ํ•œ๊ณณ๋งŒ ์ฃฝ์–ด๋ผ ํŒ ๋Š”๋ฐ
๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๋‚ด ๋ฌด๋ค์ด ๋  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒŒ ๋ฌด์„œ์› ์–ด

์•„๋ฒ„์ง€ ๋‚  ๋ณด๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด
์ •๋‹ต์„ ์•Œ๋ ค์ค˜
์–ด๋ฅธ์ด ๋˜๊ธฐ์—” ๋‚œ ์–ด๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์—ฌ๋ ค
์•„์ง๋„ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๊ณ 
๋ถ€๋”ชํžˆ๋Š” ์ง“๋งŒ ํ•˜๊ธฐ์—” ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ์•„ํ”„๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑธ
์ด์ œ ์•Œ์•˜์–ด ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋Šฆ์—ˆ๋‚˜๋ด
๋ฌด์‹ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์ฑ„์ฐ์งˆ๋งŒ ํ•˜๊ธฐ์—”
์•„๋ฌผ์ง€ ์•Š์€ ์ƒ์ฒ˜๊ฐ€ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์•„

eh ์•„๋ฌด๊ฒƒ๋„ ๋ณด๊ธฐ ์‹ซ์—ˆ์„ ๋•Œ
์–ต์ง€๋กœ ๋ˆˆ์„ ๋ถ€๋ฆ…๋œฌ ๊ฑด
๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ๊ฒ๋‚˜์„œ
๋œ์ปฅ ๊ฒ์ด ๋‚˜์„œ ๊ทธ๋ž˜ u eh o
์•„๋ฌด ๋ง๋„ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์‹ซ์—ˆ์„ ๋•Œ
์ผ๋ถ€๋Ÿฌ ๋ชฉ์†Œ๋ฆด ๋†’์ธ ๊ฑด
There is no other reason
๊ฒ์ด ๋‚˜ ๋‚œ ๊ฒ์ด ๋‚˜
์ž๊พธ ๊ฒ์ด ๋‚˜

๋‚œ ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒŒ ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ด
๋‚ด ์ข…๊ต๋ฅผ ๋– ๋‚˜์„œ
6๋…„ ์ „๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ์ด ๊ผฌ๋งน์ด๋ฅผ ์ด์šฉํ•˜๋ ค ํ–ˆ๋˜ ์•…๋• ๋Œ€ํ‘œ๋‹˜๋“ค ์กฐ์ฐจ
๋‚  ๊ตฌ์›ํ•ด์ค€ ์ง€๊ธˆ์˜ ํšŒ์‚ฌ๋„
์ด ๋ฌด๋Œ€๋ฅผ ๋‚ด์–ด์ค€ ์ˆ˜๋งŽ์€ ์ฐธ๊ฐ€์ž๋„
๋‚จ์ž์˜ ์‚ถ์„ ์•Œ๋ ค์ค€ ํ•˜๋Š˜์— ๊ณ„์‹  ํฐ์•„๋น ๋„
๊ฐ€์กฑ ๋‚ด ์–ด๊นจ๋“ค๊ณผ
ํ˜•์ œ ๊ฐ™์€ ๋ฉค๋ฒ„๋“ค๋„
๋”ฑ ์˜ค๋Š˜๊นŒ์ง€๋งŒ ์œ„๋กœ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›๊ณ 
๋‚ด์ผ๋ถ€ํ„ด ๊ฒ์Ÿ์ด๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹Œ ์„ฑ์ˆ™ํ•ด์ง„ ๋‚˜๋กœ
Love ya

eh ์•„๋ฌด๊ฒƒ๋„ ๋ณด๊ธฐ ์‹ซ์—ˆ์„ ๋•Œ
์–ต์ง€๋กœ ๋ˆˆ์„ ๋ถ€๋ฆ…๋œฌ ๊ฑด
๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ๊ฒ๋‚˜์„œ ๋œ์ปฅ ๊ฒ์ด ๋‚˜์„œ ๊ทธ๋ž˜ u eh o
์•„๋ฌด ๋ง๋„ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์‹ซ์—ˆ์„ ๋•Œ
์ผ๋ถ€๋Ÿฌ ๋ชฉ์†Œ๋ฆด ๋†’์ธ ๊ฑด
There is no other reason
๊ฒ์ด ๋‚˜ ๋‚œ ๊ฒ์ด ๋‚˜

Source: melon
Translations by: @chrissy96_, @minocentury
Romanizations by: With_WINNER
LINK:ย https://withwinner.wordpress.com/2015/08/22/lyrics-150821-mino-feat-taeyang-fear-%EA%B2%81-from-smtm4-episode-9-semi-finals/