chef carrie ho ho ho

image

Advertisements

Day 33: I surrender

surrendering means to give up.
it does not mean it is a temporary stop and then back to attack mode.
it truly means lifting the white flag up and allow the other side to take you in.

I need to build my own characteristics so I can stop falling back into the pits again over and over again.

Day 32

I’m paraphrasing but from Kill Me, Heal Me:
oh ri jin : every single day we’re fighting ourselves. half of us is wanting to give up while the other half is pushing to survive. it’s just a matter of who wins today.

on repeat till the day we leave this earth and our bodies return to dust.

Day 31 b

Coming from a family where your stepfather has only recently joined your family , it’s sad to hear how uncomfortable other people are when you ask them to join your family dinner. With that being said, I can understand where they are coming from since I myself had only recently accepted him as a family member.

Day 31: Tori – Kelly : All in My Head

“All In My Head”

[Verse 1]
I see you with her and it crushes me inside
Guess I should stop thinking about you all the time
Maybe this is what I needed maybe this is a sign
Maybe I’ve been blind to reality baby tell me

[Chorus]
Every little glance my way
Every time you wanted to hang
You seemed so interested
Could you tell me was it real or was it all in my head
Was it real or was it all in my head

[Verse 2]
She’s so pretty you two look so great
Time for me to move on now it was probably just a silly crush anyway
But I just cant help but think that we, we could’ve had something
Have I really been blind to reality baby tell me

[Chorus]
Every little glance my way
Every time you wanted to hang
You seemed so interested
Could you tell me was it real or was it all in my head
Was it real or was it all in my head

[Bridge]
Was it real or was it fake?
Was it all a mistake?
Boy, I just gotta know was it all in my head, all in my head?
Did you ever feel the same?
Was my mind just playing games?
Boy, I just gotta know was it all in my head, all in my head?

[Chorus]
Every little glance my way
Every time you wanted to hang
You seemed so interested
Could you tell me was it real or was it all in my head in my head
Was it real or was it all in my head

Day 30: Forever alone.

2 thoughts I have been having for the past few days.
1) God is here. We can’t see God. We could only see the results of God’s work. Like the wind that pushes the leaves on the branches.
2) I don’t think I can ever find a bf. haha.
Recently, one of my friend just got a bf. I have been thinking, why am I not dating yet? I’m 22. Time for “child-bearing” as my pilot bestie tells me. hahaa.
Beside from the obvious over-weightness/appearance; I think I am someone who is very willing to give all her love to someone. BUT,,,that may be the problem.
I believe that once I find that “special” one, I would give my all to them…like a mother loving their child, they give their entire heart to their child. I feel like I am like that too…..
CONTROL. LOL. Well, we’ll see what is God’s plan for me. 🙂

man, this 100 entry is much harder than I thought.

Been listening to this song from Epik High. Tablo is someone who I really admire. He went through so many downs yet, he is what we human call, “successful”. No matter how citizens of korea criticized him, his family held onto him. This song, “Over” is definitely not their best songs but it is a good enough of a reflection fall-down-but-get-back-up song. Epik High, my first concert: May 31 2015. It was truly an epik night.

You got so much to prove
Hoping they approve
The only thing that’s true is all you ever do is do
You’re moving shoe to shoe but you’re not going
You stop growing, the moment that you stay at the top
The only way is to drop
Free-falling down the stairs that you climbed up
Lined up to freely mount the air
But you dare not air drop
Tied up like a hair knot
Hiking down without a chance on stepping on a fair rock
And so, you stand still in a stand-still
Hand still buildin’ castles on a sand hill
“Man chill” is what your friends say
But you’re not hearin’ what little men say
Anyway, keep on going, and taste the stars
Keep on growing, and raise the bar
You’re living life for the As down to the Zs
After the hill you got a mountain to seize

You are, an over-achiever
Do what it takes till it takes everything you are (x2)

Who can tell?
Your living is an organized hell.
The mansion of your mind, just an over-sized cell
The pressure, everything is done to a measure
In the sea of competition sunk like a treasure
Like a feather fallin’ slow spiraling to the floor
Strung up like a broken violin to your course
Opportunity is knocking at your door
But you never left a welcome mat(It doesn’t matter anymore)
Or anyhow, but you’re too late to turn back
Fate pushin’ you to the wall like a thumbtack
Ain’t no comebacks in the game of life
Roll the dice again
Roll it once, never twice

Keep on going, and taste the stars
Keep on growing, and raise the bar
You’re livin’ life for the As down to the Zs
After one drop you got a fountain to seize

You are, an over-achiever
Do what it takes till it takes everything you are (x3)
Wanna break from the world, but the world wanna break you
The weight makes your backbone curl up and ache you

Credit: http://imberribored.livejournal.com/3885.html